In the previous blog " ADHD in girls and boys: Why do girls often remain overlooked?"we looked at how ADHD in girls differs from ADHD in boys and why girls are often overlooked. It is important to realize that ADHD signs in girls are often more silent and less noticeable externally.
In this post, we continue the topic and will stop at what is often even more important - what happens in girls inside. Where a large part of their effort is hidden, which is often not seen by those around them
Masking: when a girl hides her efforts
Many girls with ADHD develop the so – called masking-a way to hide their problems in order to integrate more easily into their surroundings and their peer group. This means that they invest a huge amount of energy in acting outwardly in an organized way, trying to be working and obedient and not stand out, trying to hide confusion or overwork. Although outwardly they can act in an orderly manner, inside they experience great strain, stress and fatigue.
Calm on the outside, overwhelmed on the inside
A girl with ADHD can sit still in class and act with concentration, but something completely different is happening in her: thoughts jump from one topic to another, internal tension is present, it is difficult for her to follow a single task. Although this often remains hidden in the girls mentioned, other children can also experience similar inner overload. Therefore, silence in class is not always a sign that the child understands or can - it can also be a sign of overwork or fear of making a mistake.
Mental overload and fatigue
The brain in ADHD often works like a computer with many open tabs at the same time. This implies constant processing of information, filtering of stimuli and high cognitive load. Therefore, fatigue in ADHD is real and neurological, not due to laziness. After school, many girls experience what is known as a" post-containment breakup " when they release all the tension they held back during the day at home.
Perfectionism and fear of mistakes
Girls with ADHD often develop perfectionism as a way of coping. Behind this lies the fear of failure, the fear that they will be "revealed" and a strong need for control. This can lead to excessive task preparation, avoidance of demanding tasks and constant internal tension.
Emotional sensitivity and fear of rejection
In girls with ADHD, strong emotional sensitivity is also often present. Even minor criticism can trigger an intense emotional reaction, feelings of shame, and self-doubt. This affects classroom participation, relationships, and self-esteem.
Anxiety as a result of ADHD
It often happens that ADHD disorder in girls is mistaken for anxiety (anxiety). Long-term challenges lead to constant worry and tension, fear of mistakes and the feeling of having to be "on the lookout"all the time. It is important to understand that anxiety is often associated with ADHD symptoms or a consequence of it, not necessarily a separate problem.
Problems with the organization and start of tasks
Many girls with ADHD find it difficult to cope with the task, especially if it is complex, multi-stage and time-consuming. The reason for this is not in laziness, but in a deficit in the area of executive functions such as memory, switching between tasks and cognitive control. The development of these functions significantly affects how easy it is for a child to overcome the initial resistance, to conduct his internal process of directing attention to solving tasks, and also determines the effectiveness of solving, which is closely related to the ability to memorize.
Social exhaustion
Social relationships can also be a great effort for children with ADHD. In girls, however, this is often even more pronounced, as they are more likely to struggle to adapt to social expectations. Girls so often constantly analyze social situations, as they try to respond "correctly" and inhibit their natural behavior. This can result in social exhaustion and an increased need for withdrawal.
Self-esteem and sense of self
If ADHD remains unrecognized for a long time, both girls and boys can develop low self-esteem, the feeling that they are not good enough, and the belief that something is wrong with them.
In the case of girls, however, this area is on average even a little more sensitive, since during the period of growing up they are often more oriented towards self-evaluation and relationships with others. At the same time, a long - term lack of understanding of one's own inner experience can lead to the fact that they begin to attribute their problems to themselves-and see them as a personal flaw, rather than part of ADHD characteristics. Over time, this can lead to the formation of a negative self-image and the feeling that they are not successful, capable or accepted enough.
Important message for parents
The most that parents can do is stay alert even to silent signs. ADHD in girls is not always loud. It often hides in fatigue, excessive effort, inner restlessness and silence.
When we understand what ADHD is, we can also see what is not obvious – and offer the child the understanding and support they really need. Reliable information, professional help and practical approaches can significantly reduce the feeling of being overwhelmed and bring more peace to everyday life
You can also find such support here – on our platform, where we strive to stand by our parents with understanding, knowledge and concrete directions.